Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the day after is always just damage control
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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