Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
