member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
