You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
