why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
