I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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