Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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