I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and she was petting her beer can
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
