I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
