Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I want is dick and wine.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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