i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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