whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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