That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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