is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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