How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
