I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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