I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
