oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
