Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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