if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
