she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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