Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he shaved USA in his pubs
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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