I can tuck mytits in my pants
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
