So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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