Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
