Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
