Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
