I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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