She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
