Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
