a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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