if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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