So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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