Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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