high people should be assigned attendants
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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