Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
