To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
