idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize