Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
