I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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