Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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