well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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