I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
