At least make sure they are 18
Why
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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