Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i think my cat just said my name.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
