This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
