We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
