Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
