shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
