just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
