she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize