I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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