I can tuck mytits in my pants
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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