i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
