she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
