if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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