i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
