please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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