I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
