I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize